Like many of you, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about our world. It hurts me to my core to know that Black people continue to be seen as threats in our society. It hurts me to know that there never has been and may never be the appropriate amount of accountability and action taken for all the precious lives that have been lost. I hate feeling this way, but more importantly- I hate to see my community hurt in this way. ⁣
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Racial trauma is real. Inter-generational trauma is real. Collective trauma is happening. Each and every time we see one of our own murdered or hurting, it hurts us too because we are one people. No, we are not a monolith, but we are a collective group who’s identity and existence is deeply connected with one another. ⁣
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THAT is why this hurts so bad. THAT is why you feel so angry and exhausted. THAT is why it’s so hard to focus. ⁣
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In moments like this, I never want us to lose sight of the things that STILL matter. The world would lead us to believe that our lives don’t matter, but they still do. We absolutely must continue to pursue our goals, dreams, and passions. We must take really really good care of ourselves. We must continue to love and support each other the best we can.  These things matter and they are forms of activism because it fights back against a system that would rather see us dead. 

So, when was the last time you were able to truly work on and invest in your well-being?  If you're a working mother, its possible that the answer is quite some time, or much longer than you'd like to admit.  If that is the case, I have something I want you to consider.  

Please don't underestimate the importance of pursuing your passions, taking care of yourself, and fiercely loving your family in times like this.  These are forms of activism.  Self-care is still a worthy and necessary form of political warfare.  I look forward to connecting with you! 

Dr. Amber Thornton is a clinical psychologist and wellness consultant.  She resides in the Washington, DC area with her husband and 1-year-old son.  She is most passionate about helping mothers and women of color to take control of their wellness and find the balance needed to live purposeful and empowered lives. 

Hey Mama!

How are you doing?  How is your wellness?

When was the last time you were able to truly work on and invest in your well-being?  

If you're a working mother, its possible that the answer is quite some time, or much longer than you'd like to admit.  I have something I want you to consider.  

Women are powerful, but we hold the most power when we work together.  If you've struggled with not feeling well, difficulty prioritizing your needs, or not taking care of yourself, its possible that you are in need of community and support from other women to help.  

Please join me (Dr. Amber Thornton, Clinical Psychologist, Personal Development Coach, & Wellness Consultant) and 5 other EMPOWERED women on a journey together by joining
Balanced Working Mama: Empower Wellness. 

While you may not be able to have as many in person gatherings at this time, you should not forget about the other ways to be social.  Continue to call and text your family, friends, coworkers, and other significant people.  Consider using Google Hangout, Zoom, FaceTime, Skype, WhatsApp, GroupMe and other tools to communicate and even video chat.  This is likely an ideal time to reach out to that person who you’ve been having trouble making time for or that person who you haven’t caught up with in so long.

Bonus Tip:  Schedule time for socializing just like you would any other work-related or important meeting.  You may find that other tasks or priorities can easily fill up your time, so make socializing from afar a top priority by scheduling it into your day and week.  

Whenever life changes rapidly, i.e. during a global pandemic, you may notice that you lose track of your schedules and routines.  Developing and maintaining routine is healthy because it helps to ward off uncertainty, anxiety, boredom, or even depressive moods.  Schedules and routines keep us engaged in the moment, and helps us to anticipate what is needed and how to prioritize tasks.  

Therefore, I highly recommend that you determine what your new schedule and routine will look like.  It's possible that this will be different than what you’re used to because you may now be working from home or spending much less time outside of work or home.  Therefore, take the time you need to ensure that your new schedule and routine is reasonable, realistic, and adaptable to future changes that may come. 

Bonus Tip:  When you figure out the schedule and routine that will work for you, make it visual and tangible!  The schedule and routine you create will be much more effective if you write it down, print it out, post it, or put it up somewhere.  Make sure that your schedule is visible for you to see so that you are more likely to stay on track. 

You may have wondered if it's okay to talk to yourself.  I want to let you know that it is absolutely okay to talk to yourself and it's something I recommend.  Healthy self-talk is necessary during moments of crisis or challenging situations because your thoughts will likely feel more negative, fearful, or tense during those times.  

One thing you must know is that healthy self-talk takes practice and something you should work on every single day.  It's normal for this practice to feel awkward or forced at first, but the more you practice, the better and more natural it will feel.  

Additionally, I want you to understand that positive self-talk is not always healthy self-talk.  Therefore, as you practice self-talk, remember that it does not always need to be overly positive (which can sometimes feel invalidating).  The goal is to practice healthy self-talk, self-talk that will support your mental and emotional well-being without invalidating your current reality or feelings.  

Bonus Tip:  If you are having trouble knowing what counts as healthy self-talk, try the following:  

Remind yourself of what is going well in your life.
Remind yourself that current challenges will not last forever.
Ask yourself to recall a happy memory.
Tell yourself you are doing a good job.
Think of someone who inspires you.
Remind yourself of something you are proud of. 

​For many Black women, motherhood means learning how to navigate and balance both our passion for being mothers along with our passions for our work and careers.  With Black women continuing to be the most educated group in the United States and so many of us being caretakers for children, it's no wonder that we may struggle to find resources and spaces that meet our unique needs.

Being a mother has been one of the most rewarding parts of my life. I love spending time with my son.  Watching him grow and learn has been amazing! Being a psychologist is the other most rewarding part of my life and it’s hard to imagine who I’d be without being able to help others.  Being a working mother has allowed me to have so much compassion and empathy for the unique struggles of other mothers who passionately work and care for their children.  We need support, guidance, validation, and the occasional “I see you sis!” 

Here are a few strong Black women who are dedicated to creating space for Black working mothers. 

​Jasmine Chanelle is a mama who is passionate about inspiring millennial moms to have it all.  “I teach female entrepreneurs how to craft meaningful brand stories to attract their dream clients. I help my clients find their authentic voice and develop strategic tactics to share their brand across digital platforms.”

Jasmine is incredible at highlighting “what it takes to be a boss in the boardroom and at home.”  She is popular on Instagram, YouTube, and has recently launched the Mom2Mogul course for working mothers who are ready to devote to their online businesses full-time. 

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Don't forget to share it with another amazing working mama. 
​We see you, sis!