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12/1/2019 0 Comments

The 1st Step You Need To Take In Learning How To Set Healthy Boundaries

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It's really important for us to have BOUNDARIES.  
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I know that we are hearing that word a lot more now.  Even with the topic and idea of boundaries becoming more popular, sometimes we still aren’t sure where to start when it comes to setting healthy boundaries.

The very first step we need to take when learning how to set healthy boundaries is to learn where our boundaries need to live.  It may sound simple but it can be complex. It's important to take some time out to learn where our boundaries are so that we are able to effectively communicate them to other people.  

What I encourage you to do is take a moment to reflect on all the things that feel good and all the things that don’t feel good.  As you notice things that do not feel good, that is an indication of where a boundary may need to be set. For example, if you notice that you attend events late in the evening and starting to realize that you don’t enjoy being out that late, maybe that means there needs to be a boundary set around when or what time of day you will attend those types events.  
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As you start to learn more of what does and doesn't feel good for you, you then get to decide whether you are going to set a boundary or not!

Boundary Setting Activity

  1. Take one full week to reflect on events, moments, situations, relationships, interactions, etc. do and do not feel good.
  2. Keep a record of the moments during that week that do not feel good, or that feel uncomfortable, etc.
  3. After the week ends, look over the list you have created and decide what may need a new boundary set around it.  

I hope this helps you as you begin to set new healthy boundaries in your life! 

Are you feeling ready to establish healthy boundaries and work toward your personal development goals?  Check out the video below to learn more about personal development consultation and how it may help you in meeting your goals for 2020! 

To book your personal development consultation or talk more with Dr. Amber Thornton about personal development, book your FREE 15 minute consultation here.  
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11/25/2019 0 Comments

Five Biggest Obstacles Blocking Your 2020 Personal Goals.

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In my work with clients, one of the very first questions I like to ask is “What are the barriers or obstacles that have kept you from your personal development goals?”  All of us will come across situations or circumstances that make it challenging to enhance or improve ourselves personally and we need to be able to identify those barriers so that they do not keep us from the growth we so rightfully need and deserve. 
​As we prepare to move into a new decade, I want to be sure that we all know what is keeping us from the best version of ourselves, so here are the five biggest obstacles keeping you from your personal goals!

Fear and Doubt

We are often so fearful and so doubtful that we have the ability to make changes that we desire in our lives.  This fear and doubt sometimes leads us to not even try to meet our goals or make the changes we want to see. Ultimately, we are afraid of not succeeding, or fearful of failing.  If fear and doubt are keeping you stuck and not working toward change and personal growth, it's definitely something you want to address so that you can move forward with your goals.  

The "Inner Critic"

We might have an inner dialogue that is very chatty but also very negative.  It may tell us that we don't deserve good things, that we aren’t worthy of working toward change, or that we shouldn’t even try to grow.  This very critical inner dialogue also needs to be addressed in order to move forward with personal development goals. 

Very Large Goals

Many of us attempt to change too many things at one time in our pursuit to personal growth and development.  This leads us to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, disappointed, and then we ultimately discontinue working toward our personal goal.  Instead, it's better to start with one goal and add on as you make gradual progress toward that goal. Small and manageable goals are much better for working toward personal goals. 

Complacency

Sometimes we are too complacent, and we only do the things that are familiar or comfortable.  If we want to see change and grow, we have to do different things. Trying new things is hard and can be scary, but it's often what is needed in order to move forward toward personal growth.    

Not Asking for Help

Lastly, the biggest thing that keeps us from meeting our personal development goals is that we do not ask for help.  We often assume that we should be able to handle things on our own, or that we just aren't trying hard enough. This is false.  There might be a family member, friend, significant other, colleague, or a peer who has exactly what we need to help. It is also okay to ask for professional help when you need it.  

Are you feeling ready to remove the obstacles and work toward your personal development goals?  Check out the video below to learn more about personal development consultation and how it may help you in meeting your goals for 2020! 

To book your personal development consultation or talk more with Dr. Amber Thornton about personal development, book your FREE 15 minute consultation here.  
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    Dr. Amber Thornton

    Clinical Psychologist | Personal Development Consultant | Cultural Diversity Consultant 

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